Echoing you Kathleen - the surveillance quote was fantastic and incredibly relatable to me. When I read it, it gave me that “aha moment” that I needed to feel so desperately. I do the same thing and I’m exhausted with myself! I just want to feel free of self and societal restriction and just enjoy life. If I want to stay up until 1:30am binging a show once in a while, so be it! If I want to make a unique pasta dish and homemade bread on a Saturday night, but then want to go get a waffle for dinner the next night, so be it! I’m allowed to (of course, ~in moderation~ but that’s a different topic for a different time!) But thank you for this reminder, Julia Renee!
Oh, how this has reached me at the exact right moment. I made a note in my phone last night to write a post about my need to STOP HABIT TRACKING...the pull to productivity is everywhere, it is so entrenched in our collective psyche.
'Rest' is literally one of my words for 2025 and so far I have done very little of it! Thanks for this piece - from another 'tortured eldest daughter who hates captialism' (and going out, obviously) x
You just wait until you’re retired. Now that I don’t have to routinely go out of the door to work every morning, I “should” do a longer self-care morning routine; do some baking; be super creative in my journal; talk with the neighbours; knit; sew; read and keep track of my finances in more detail. Not to mention go to the gym - oh and get more rest .. it’s exhausting!
I think I absolutely needed this reminder that even on Substack — just like other social media platforms— we are consuming expectations for how we should exist. Instagram and TikTok set more stringently frightening and unattainable standards for our physical appearances; comparatively, the archetypal Substack Woman is impossibly productive, self-caring, optimized, intelligent, and creative. thank you for reminding me that I was drawn towards this platform to get away from the constant comparison and slow down. Whenever we consume, we must do so with the consciousness that what’s posted online isn’t a complete reality. Substack has ineffably beautiful writing and so much more authenticity than other online spaces. Even so, it’s still somewhere we may get trapped in the pressure to hustle and produce without end.
I too am working on returning to playfulness and rest, just having more fun in my day to day life. It feels like a very childlike awakening!! I also appreciate your push to let go of quantifiers— I am not a piece of data, as you so perfectly put it. None of us can be completely captured in numbers!
Thank you thank you thank you; feeling so inspired to daydream and drink tea and take things at my own pace <3
Interestingly, I am in the middle of self optimization-cum-ADHD executive function control goaling……and a lot of this resonates with me because of the “you just get it all done, and well” feeling. What a good read for me right now. Thanks for the perspective to take a step back and remember to enjoy my life instead of succeed at it. Happy winter ❄️
LOL well less in the middle, and more at the front. I’m attempting to find a new therapist who can help me identify how to better challenge and improve myself in the executive functioning arena!
BUT although many of my goals are truly to just improve my executive functioning to make sure I forget less, make my life run more smoothly, etc., some of my goals are to tick a lot of the boxes that you mentioned in this essay. Read more, eat better, move more, and those things are good, sometimes quantifying them ends up ruining it. Or at least that’s my take away here!
I’m struggling with allowing myself to do nothing and appreciate where I am right now. I’m in the middle of a knitting project already planning what’s next. I’m reading Onyx Storm and just downloaded a new book for when this one’s done. And it’s exhausting. Thanks for the reminder that it’s ok to just enjoy what we have and where are right now.
Thank you. You understand the pressure and unattainable standards we are supposed to accept. I struggle with accepting days when I don't cross everything off the to-do list or excel at everything.
I related to this so much, Julia and it came at the perfect time - I have been thinking lately that I need to optimize my fitness after going through a period where my goal was to just move my body. But I've been thinking "I need to run x times a week" and "I should be lifting weights x times a week", neither of which I do on a regular basis now. This was the gentle reminder that I don't need to be regimented about it.
This article really called me out. Thank you. I do need to revaluate how I balance productivity with relaxation and pure enjoyment for things. Especially beyond monetising said things. I have been thinking this all day!
"Sometimes the surveillance I put on myself is so heavy that I forget that I have free will."
Dang. So, let me get in the line of people here who are allegedly old enough to know better but for whom this post really rang a bell.
Echoing you Kathleen - the surveillance quote was fantastic and incredibly relatable to me. When I read it, it gave me that “aha moment” that I needed to feel so desperately. I do the same thing and I’m exhausted with myself! I just want to feel free of self and societal restriction and just enjoy life. If I want to stay up until 1:30am binging a show once in a while, so be it! If I want to make a unique pasta dish and homemade bread on a Saturday night, but then want to go get a waffle for dinner the next night, so be it! I’m allowed to (of course, ~in moderation~ but that’s a different topic for a different time!) But thank you for this reminder, Julia Renee!
Oh, how this has reached me at the exact right moment. I made a note in my phone last night to write a post about my need to STOP HABIT TRACKING...the pull to productivity is everywhere, it is so entrenched in our collective psyche.
'Rest' is literally one of my words for 2025 and so far I have done very little of it! Thanks for this piece - from another 'tortured eldest daughter who hates captialism' (and going out, obviously) x
it's so tough! Going to try my best to opt out from time to time...
This hit me so hard it the best way, I cried. Thank you.
You just wait until you’re retired. Now that I don’t have to routinely go out of the door to work every morning, I “should” do a longer self-care morning routine; do some baking; be super creative in my journal; talk with the neighbours; knit; sew; read and keep track of my finances in more detail. Not to mention go to the gym - oh and get more rest .. it’s exhausting!
Omg Sue I am exhausted on your behalf. It never ends!
I think I absolutely needed this reminder that even on Substack — just like other social media platforms— we are consuming expectations for how we should exist. Instagram and TikTok set more stringently frightening and unattainable standards for our physical appearances; comparatively, the archetypal Substack Woman is impossibly productive, self-caring, optimized, intelligent, and creative. thank you for reminding me that I was drawn towards this platform to get away from the constant comparison and slow down. Whenever we consume, we must do so with the consciousness that what’s posted online isn’t a complete reality. Substack has ineffably beautiful writing and so much more authenticity than other online spaces. Even so, it’s still somewhere we may get trapped in the pressure to hustle and produce without end.
I too am working on returning to playfulness and rest, just having more fun in my day to day life. It feels like a very childlike awakening!! I also appreciate your push to let go of quantifiers— I am not a piece of data, as you so perfectly put it. None of us can be completely captured in numbers!
Thank you thank you thank you; feeling so inspired to daydream and drink tea and take things at my own pace <3
yes I love how you have laid this out- I really don't want this space to become another comparison vacuum for me! enjoy the tea and the daydreams <3
I feel called about moving to Substack to get my aspirational content and didn’t realize it.
I just realized it this week!
Interestingly, I am in the middle of self optimization-cum-ADHD executive function control goaling……and a lot of this resonates with me because of the “you just get it all done, and well” feeling. What a good read for me right now. Thanks for the perspective to take a step back and remember to enjoy my life instead of succeed at it. Happy winter ❄️
ok tell me more about this concept because this sounds like me!!!
LOL well less in the middle, and more at the front. I’m attempting to find a new therapist who can help me identify how to better challenge and improve myself in the executive functioning arena!
BUT although many of my goals are truly to just improve my executive functioning to make sure I forget less, make my life run more smoothly, etc., some of my goals are to tick a lot of the boxes that you mentioned in this essay. Read more, eat better, move more, and those things are good, sometimes quantifying them ends up ruining it. Or at least that’s my take away here!
Timing on this could not have been more perfect. Thank you :)
Take it easy my friend :)
I’m struggling with allowing myself to do nothing and appreciate where I am right now. I’m in the middle of a knitting project already planning what’s next. I’m reading Onyx Storm and just downloaded a new book for when this one’s done. And it’s exhausting. Thanks for the reminder that it’s ok to just enjoy what we have and where are right now.
Wow, thanks for translating into words so perfectly this shared feeling of exhaustion 🫀 (a hangover of all the years of social media, perhaps).
Thank YOU for this. My past 2 New Year’s resolutions have simply been “do less.” These words say it so right.
Thank you. You understand the pressure and unattainable standards we are supposed to accept. I struggle with accepting days when I don't cross everything off the to-do list or excel at everything.
I related to this so much, Julia and it came at the perfect time - I have been thinking lately that I need to optimize my fitness after going through a period where my goal was to just move my body. But I've been thinking "I need to run x times a week" and "I should be lifting weights x times a week", neither of which I do on a regular basis now. This was the gentle reminder that I don't need to be regimented about it.
Oof this one hit home. Saving it as a reminder to not just be a datapoint. To actually relax for relaxation sake!
I love this so much.
This article really called me out. Thank you. I do need to revaluate how I balance productivity with relaxation and pure enjoyment for things. Especially beyond monetising said things. I have been thinking this all day!