01. my dopamine menu
the first post in the no buy series
I began my one year no buy on December 20th- the first monthly wrap up post is coming soon, at the end of January!. I did end up buying most of my “exceptions” for the year during boxing day sales, so it feels more like only a few weeks of being on the actual no buy. I’m glad I got that shopping done- the required items felt like a stressor, buzzing in my ear, with the usual shopping noise of trying to find the perfect item at the best price. now that those purchases are done with, my brain feels clear and the door to the shopping noise is fully closed.
image is my own
I expect this year to be difficult- it’s a significant challenge and change to my usual habits. I fully anticipate having days where I wake up anxious and uncomfortable in my body, and need to combat the urge to shop my way out of those hard feelings. This is where the concept of a dopamine menu comes in. A dopamine menu is a list of tools to use rather than engaging in bad habits like doomscrolling or shopping. You can also use these activities more preventatively, for wellbeing maintenance. Dopamine menus have trended on TikTok for awhile, and I’ve made some little lists about them here and there, but with the challenge of my no-buy I have to take my dopamine menu development very seriously!
I recently read this piece by Aurora Blythe about her dopamine menu-making process, and I love the way she has structured it! I have also read two other fantastic posts about dopamine menus by JC (here) and Elma (here). This post is heavily influenced by theirs, so please make sure to check out their publications. On the menu, we have appetizers, the main course, side dishes, specials, and desserts. Appetizers are quick things that can be done in ten minutes, so they are pretty low-key but still enjoyable. The main course is an activity that takes longer, and side dishes can be added to the main course. Specials are more involved- they take effort to make happen, but that means they are probably even more meaningful! Finally, desserts are “treats”- these are to be done infrequently to preserve how special they are.
p.s. JC had a really perfect dopamine menu- some items are definitely inspired by hers! These tools have really been helping me this week!
my dopamine menu. the full menu is listed in plain text below for accessibility purposes.
Appetizers
As explained by Aurora, appetizers are things that can be included in your routine with a pretty high level of ease. These activities should be easy to start and help you to get through a shopping/scrolling impulse!
warm shower, gua sha with face oils, cuddling with my dog with no distractions, making tea, cleaning out my emails, ten minute yoga video, decluttering one drawer, 5 minute meditation, ten minute doodle
Main Courses
Main courses should really be made of most of your hobbies- activities that you choose to do regularly to enrich your life, rather than the appetizers which are more of an easy access, quickly someone help me stop this scrolling spree! I am really committed to my hobbies this year after many years of having “grad school” as my main hobby, so these mean a lot to me. Reading and knitting are probably my main hobbies- but contacting my loved ones and getting a good workout in are up there too! For the more athletically inclined, these might include playing a soccer game, and for the birdwatchers among us maybe getting out to your local park!
If you really think about it, main courses should enrich you in such a way that they actually prevent scrolling and shopping, rather than rescuing you from a doomscroll or add to cart loop!
going for a walk, going to the gym, calling a friend or family member, socializing in real life, writing a substack article, filling in a page from a coloring book, knitting, reading, getting sun on my face
Side Dishes
Side dishes can be done alongside any of the other activities, to enrich them a little bit. Elma described them as something you can add to “make your responsibilities easier to do” - e.g., it’s easier to empty the dishwasher with a nice podcast going! I actually usually prefer to not listen to music or podcasts while doing other activities (I exist in the silence of my own brain a lot), but sometimes it can really enhance the experience!
listening to music, listening to a podcast, lighting a candle
Desserts
Desserts are special activities, little treats that do not require much effort. It’s a bit of an outsourcing of dopamine. These can be really enriching, but they are the kind of thing that can become less special if done too frequently. I would try to do these things no more than once per week, so that every time I do them, I can appreciate them and feel how special they are.
going out for coffee and a pastry, going to see a movie, ordering take out
Specials
Specials are more involved- they take effort to make happen, but that means they are probably even more meaningful! My favourite thing on this list is probably hosting a game night- there is not much more enriching to me than having a bunch of people over for a raucous round of Blood on the Clocktower!
hosting a game night, going out, travelling, bike ride for pleasure (not commute), exploring a new neighborhood, going to a restaurant, going to a bookstore to explore new books to put on hold, making a youtube video
That sums up my dopamine menu! I will share updates throughout the year about how I am able to use these tools to stick to my no buy challenge.
That’s it for this Tuesday bonus post- I’ll be back on Sunday with my regular weekly newsletter.
XO,
Julia
Sometimes you just need to distract your mind for a minute and then you realize you don’t even need or want the item you’re fixated on buying! Love the dopamine menu 🙌🏻
The dopamine menu is sooo cute