08. five lessons I have learned from my no-buy (so far)

consider this a three-month check in

I started my no-buy in a rush. Donald Trump had just been elected president of the United States, I was feeling worried about my future financial security, I was exhausted by the cycle of overconsumption, and ready to spend the last year of my 20s changing my habits for the better. At the time, I was posting daily TikToks about my no-buy (I have since left the app). Because I was posting daily, I was thinking about the no-buy all of the time. This intensive introduction worked really well- I was actively working out the kinks, live on camera. I could post about challenges and get immediate feedback and support. After I decided to stop using TikTok after the app ban fiasco in January, I settled into a pretty quiet and comfortable rhythm with the no-buy- this is just the way I’m living now. I don’t think about it very much.

I think there is a happier medium to be found, and I am recommitting to being more thoughtful and intentional. It feels a bit like I have only pseudo-started the no buy- I’m writing this from Mumbai, and I had a handful of shopping exemptions before and on this trip. I made a few planned clothing purchases before coming here, and allowed myself to shop a bit while here (I purchased one dress, a rug, and a Jaipuri quilt. I also replaced my daily driver earrings that I lost on the dance floor at a wedding). After this trip, there aren’t really any exceptions remaining- it’s just me and the no buy, for the next 9 months.

working on my Olga sweater

I feel ready to continue the challenge and step things up now that I don’t have much left by way of exceptions and loopholes. It would be easy to feel scared, nervous, and apprehensive- but I am choosing to focus on the skills I have built and the lessons I have learned over the last two and a half months.

Five Lessons I Have Learned In the First 3 Months of My No-Buy

1. No one cares how you are dressed

I have been making a deliberate effort to notice and appreciate ugly outfits in the wild. This might be a bit of a toxic take, but let me explain how it helps. I usually do this on the subway, at the park, or maybe a coffee shop. Typically, my eye is drawn to interesting outfits- a great coat, a unique pair of glasses, a beautiful sweater. Before my no-buy, this would often lead to a cycle of pursuing that item, browsing online for hours, and maybe even impulse purchasing something. While I am still drawn to beauty, I have tried to counter this habit by noticing super average, basic, even ugly outfits and realizing that I truly am not judging that person and often just feel happy for them that they are just living their life. They know that there isn’t a beauty standard required to exit their home- they are grabbing a coffee in a regular outfit and just living life. This gives me permission and the freedom to do the same!

2. Automating your responses takes away mental clutter

Before my no buy, I spent so. much. time. evaluating and shopping for potential purchases- calculating my next paycheque, seeing if there was room for that bag or this sweater. When the answer is automatically no, however, that conversation simply doesn’t exist in my head anymore. I see something I like, I say, that’s nice, maybe next year, and I move on with my day. The freedom is addicting.

3. A low credit card balance feels better than any new outfit

I cannot explain how good it feels to easily pay off my credit card every month and have a good amount of cash left to save and invest. I cannot believe I denied this to myself for years in the pursuit of consumerism.

4. Every consumerist desire passes

When I think of how many times my mom tried to teach me this lesson over the years I want to shake my own shoulders! (isn’t growing up just repeatedly realizing your mom was right?). It’s true, though. Every time I covet an item, I write it down in my notes app and promptly forget about it. When I return to the note, I don’t want 99% of the items anymore- and I am happy to wait until 2026 for the ones I do still want. Putting space between your desires and purchases is an extremely powerful tool.

5. It’s possible to appreciate beautiful things without needing to own them

This became abundantly clear to me during a wedding I just attended. It was a multi-day affair in Goa, a gorgeous beach town in the South of India. The women were dressing. Each formal event brought a new swirl of colours, sparkles, perfectly embroidered garments, and the daytime casual breakfasts and pool hangs were decorated by linen sets, flowy day dresses, and fabulous jewelry. I loved every outfit I got to admire- and I didn’t feel the need to own any of them. I could simply appreciate these women and their beauty and style.

Quick dip in the Arabian Sea

Accountability- Everything I Have Purchased During My No-Buy

Pre-India Shopping: a wedding guest dress, 2 basic white tees and 2 basic white tanks (the ones I owned were faded and crusty from last summer), a one-piece swimsuit (needed for swimming in front of my boyfriend’s grandparents).

India Shopping (gifts excluded): a leather passport holder, one flowy printed dress, one Jaipuri quilt, one tapestry to hang in our home (my boyfriend was born and raised here and it was important to me to bring some pieces of the country into our home decor).

Other: three new pairs of underwear, two bras (these were essential), and one pair of running shoes- I didn’t have any and I want to experiment with running this spring. I’ve taken a few years off but the streets are calling. I purchased a pair from last season that were 50% off.

You can see why I feel like I haven’t fully started the no buy! In my opinion, however, the only way to truly fail a no buy is to quit. I’m really excited to lock in, get even more serious about it, and finish the year strong. My savings goals are calling!

Until next time,

Julia xo