04. a guide to surviving the winter blues

field notes from my unexpected January alone

In October of 2024, I moved in with my boyfriend. We rented a really sweet little apartment in a cozy, comforting neighborhood on the west side of Toronto. In the fall, we took my (our?) dog, Sully, on long walks through streets lined with trees adorned in red to try a new cafe every Sunday. We have a small, shared backyard, where Sully can lay and listen to neighbors walk by, birds chirping, and the rustle of the wind. It is the first time I have ever lived with a romantic partner, and it has been one of the happiest times of my life thus far.

This month, my boyfriend was quite unexpectedly asked to take a three week work trip across the world. I was sad at first- I have grown attached to our small rituals, our Game of Thrones watches in the evenings, and having the comfort of another person I love coming home to the same home as me every night. I have been surprised, though, by how much I have enjoyed and cherished this time to myself. I lived alone for most of my twenties and always relished in the small luxuries of my little rituals, leaving the sink full of dishes from time to time, and having time, space, and quiet to explore the recesses of my mind and interests. The timing of my boyfriend’s work trip lined up with the first quiet phase of my PhD so far - done coursework, thesis proposal being revised by someone else, a little but not a lot to do - and my weeks alone have been spent wintering.

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Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May is a hybrid memoir about the power of rest and restoration. May pulls from her personal experience of a challenging time with her life and couples it with lessons from literature and the natural world to teach us about how to slow down, turn inwards, rest, and prepare ourselves for the next spring. The concept of wintering, as May writes it, is something we do after we’ve been knocked down- but I think it can apply quite simply, to winter, no matter what state you arrived at the season in.

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“Winter is not the death of the life cycle, but its crucible.”

Katherine May, Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times

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Wintering, in my life, has meant a few quiet weeks spent slowing down, cherishing my time alone, nurturing a burgeoning creative drive that has been quiet for many years, and tending to myself and the foundations of my life: my home, my dog, my friendships, my finances, and my health. I am quietly laying the groundwork for the year I want to have, and after these few weeks I feel more deeply connected to myself than I have in a long time. I wanted to share a few free or very affordable practices and rituals that have grounded me, and that I hope to carry through the rest of the season.

1. Get outside, regardless of the weather

I know this is easier for me than a lot of people, because I have a big dog who needs a lot of exercise every day. However, I hate to break it to you, but unless it is dangerously cold, there is no reason that 90% of people cannot get outside for a walk around the block every day. The old adage that there is no bad weather, just bad clothing holds true. If you can go outside, get fresh air and a little exercise, and maybe pause and look at how a tree moves in the wind for a little while, I promise your life will be better for it. One of the true keys to happiness, in my opinion, is building self-trust. This is a great place to start- tell yourself you will go for a short walk every day and actually do it. See how it feels to walk, and see how it feels to keep a small promise to yourself.

mindfulness prompts for a winter walk: who else is out walking right now? where are they going? if the snow is falling- can you catch a flake on your tongue? stop, and listen to the trees (you can still hear them in a city). how many houses still have their Christmas lights up?

Lake Ontario on a sunny, chilly day. Image my own.

2. Journal every day

I think journaling can be really intimidating because the versions sold to us on social media, and even on Substack, can be really high-effort and require supplies. You do not need anything to journal besides a pen and paper. You can even journal in your notes app! I do that while I am out and about all of the time! I have kept a journal for most of my life, and not once have I designed a beautiful bullet journal spread or crafted a perfect junk journal spread out of movie tickets and magazine cut outs. Every morning, I scribble down the random nonsense in my brain, jot down ten things I am grateful for, and move on with my day. Do not let the junk journal and bullet journal people intimidate you! They are incredibly talented, and if that kind of hobby speaks to you, that’s great. But journaling is beneficial to literally everybody, so if you can find a way to make the practice more accessible, do not feel the need to overdo it. Journaling is for you- it’s not a performative act for the internet to consume.

A few journal prompts: describe your perfect sunday alone. what is the best thing that happened in your childhood? what is the hardest thing you’ve survived and what are you most proud of from that time? describe a scene from the best vacation you’ve ever taken. what would your last meal be?

3. Get off of social media

I will probably write more about this at some point, but I actually deactivated my TikTok and Instagram accounts this month. I had accidentally found my way into a small following (~8k) on TikTok after I started sharing about my no-buy in November, and spent a couple of months pursuing that growth. I felt really pressured and overwhelmed by the need to post every day, and talking to the camera never really felt natural to me. The nail in the coffin, however, was the big “thank you to President Trump” message after the 24 hour ban. It just gave me the ick in a way I couldn’t shake, and I ended up deactivating both accounts within a few days. I might be back on Instagram one day, but my TikTok deactivation was permanent.

Being off of social media has been interesting! I do find myself more engaged with the world around me. I have been enjoying watching YouTube videos and reading Substack essays. My brain feels like it has more space to breathe and I feel really inspired and creative. I think if you can limit or reduce your short-form content consumption in any way, you will better engage with your wintering season by doing things like reading, making yourself little treats, watching good movies, and maybe just existing in silence and watching the snow fall from time to time.

Things to do instead of scrolling: luxuriate in your skin care routine, declutter a drawer, read one essay on Substack, fold your laundry, call your mom, make eye contact with a dog, listen to a podcast.

cuddling with Sully, no fyp in sight. Image my own.

4. Enjoy cozy hobbies

This one will mean different things to different people! I have been learning to knit this year, so that has been my primary hobby. I am currently working on the Sophie Hood by Petite Knit in a really nice lavender. I find that I do really have to focus on this pattern, so I have been listening to an audiobook of These Precious Days by Ann Patchett - a cherished essay collection that I have read before and is deeply comforting to me. Knitting away, with a hot americano and a puppy at my side, while having a beloved author read aloud to me about the intimacies of a regular life feels so luxurious and comforting. Other hobbies I’ve been enjoying are reading (finally finished Intermezzo, going to start Didion and Babitz next), cooking long, involved dinners (bonus points for browsing a high-end grocery store for a few bits and bobs), and watching Game of Thrones (t.v. is a hobby!!!).

5. Get your spring cleaning done now- declutter your life!

I have been decluttering every facet of my life- reorganizing my files, decluttering corners of my home, dealing with some financial tasks I have been delaying. It feels good to have my life in order and while there is always some cognitive resistance to these types of tasks, winter is a good season to get them done- because really, what better things do you have to do?

A few decluttering ideas: under your bathroom sink, getting ready for your tax file, cleaning up your desktop, organizing your photo library, rearranging the art on the walls.

6. Exercise in a way that feels good to you

I have been really focused on sticking to my routine through this season. It is a pain to get all bundled up to walk to the gym when it’s -20 celsius, but I always feel so much better after I go. On days when I just want to stay home, I will do a YouTube workout- usually Yoga with Adriene or Move with Nicole for a pilates workout.

getting outside!!!

7. Keep up your gratitude practice

My gratitude practice is the cornerstone of all of the contentment and happiness that I have worked so hard to cultivate over the years. The more consistent I am, the better I feel. At a minimum, I try to write a short gratitude list every morning. I’m currently working through the 30 days of exercises in the Magic, which I try to do at least once per year. It’s a bit more time consuming (it takes me around 30 minutes to complete), but it really does seem to bring extra bits of magic into my life.

Gratitude journaling prompts: make a list of everyone who has helped you in the last year. write about a time you helped someone else and how that enriched your life. make a list of your favorite books and what they have taught you. write down ten things you love about one of your friends. write down a list of pleasant sensations from each season.

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These little actions add up everyday to help you have a truly restorative wintering season. Spring and summer are just around the corner, and they will bring cities to life, bring you outside with your friends, and fill up your calendar quicker than you can imagine. Winter is such a rich time to spend with yourself, the people you share your home with, and loyal companions like our books and hobbies. Try not to wish it away.

Thank you so much for reading A Life’s Work! I have decided to launch a paid subscription tier. I prefer not to paywall most of my work, but starting next Sunday I will be posting monthly deep dives into my finances and savings goals as I make progress on that in my no buy year. These posts, and occasionally some other posts, will be paywalled. If you don’t have capacity to become a paid subscriber but you want to support my work, please feel free to buy me a coffee! And as always, your readership is the greatest gift. Thank you so much for being here.

Next week, I will be sharing a guide to preparing for and starting a no or low buy year as well as a detailed recap of my spending on the first month of my no buy! Thanks so much for being here.

XO,

Julia